This year, one of my goals was to be the “queen of pivot”. I created a Friends type graphic from the hilarious scene of Ross, Chandler, and Rachel trying to maneuver a couch to Ross’ apartment (iykyk).
Things in our life had been taking a shift and I could feel myself trying to take control, and quite possibly, ruin any chance of growth. Because I believe being uncomfortable brings growth, I knew I’d have to be tested on it.
These last few months, so many things have happened. The way I gave birth was COMPLETELY different than I had planned. But I was opened-minded to the possibility it wouldn’t go my way, so I was able to adjust (or pivot) to the change of plans.
My husband and I had to learn what it was like to live with a household of 5 instead of 4 (yes, we’re including our cat Prince and dog Benji).
We have had to leave the comfort of our home to some place new with an unknown future, and be okay with it.
We are in a constant pivot at this point.
And as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I should be careful what I ask for. I told God I wanted to be the queen of pivot, but I don’t think I realized he’d start putting me in situations to develop that piece of me.
Touche, God, touche.
So I’m honestly writing to say this. This pivot season can feel blurry. It can make you want to turn back to what you knew, what was comfortable. But I’m asking you (and myself) to hold on just a little while longer and to focus on what God is providing right now.
When God brought Moses and the Israelites out of Egypt, many of them chose to look back at what they had. They literally asked MOses and Aaron:
On the fifteenth day of the second month after they had left Egypt, the whole company of Israel moved on from Elim to the Wilderness of Sin which is between Elim and Sinai. The whole company of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron there in the wilderness. The Israelites said, “Why didn’t God let us die in comfort in Egypt where we had lamb stew and all the bread we could eat? You’ve brought us out into this wilderness to starve us to death, the whole company of Israel!” (Exodus 16:3 MSG)
But God didn’t promise them that they wouldn’t suffer on their way to the promise land. He didn’t promise that it would be easy. He just needed them to trust Him. When they did trust Him, it was great. But when things were silent and unknown, they began to search the world for some hope. Even to the point of creating a golden calf to worship instead.
What I’m saying is this: Don’t look back to Egypt. Egypt is your past hurt, your past trauma, shoot it’s even your past drama. Don’t go back to live there because God has a brighter, better future for you. He is just needing you to trust that He’s going to give you all that you need and prayed for.
XX,
Tanaya
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Crowned & Chosen 
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