To the Woman that Doesn’t Love Herself

One day I was looking online and talking to some friends when I came across one common denominator, there are tons of women out there that don’t truly love themselves.

I think that we have been so bred to live to the “pretty standard”, and when we don’t then we feel that we are not enough. We don’t have the perfect teeth, hair, skin shade, body shape, thick thighs, thigh gap, big boobs, small waist, bigger feet, smaller feet, shaped eyebrows, full eyebrows, bigger lips, thinner lips, the list goes on.

Pretty Privilege is Real, But it shouldn’t be

Pretty Privilege is definitely a thing. It’s when pretty folks get benefits that people without the label would get. If you are in denial of pretty privilege, then you may just be a beneficiary of it.

Pretty privilege can be:

Example A: Being at a club and being able to go in because of the way you look.

Example B: Being able to get away with a lot more because of your looks

Being pretty to society makes a certain look the “standard” and makes it seem attainable by others. If you don’t look like what everyone (or a lot of folks) aspire to be, you are the “other”.

I mean, look at Beyonce. The woman is talented, no doubt, but do you think she’d get as far as she did if she wasn’t what the world deemed as gorgeous?

You deserve to take up space

I say this a lot when it comes to body positivity. Especially being a plus size woman, I have to continuously remind myself. There are a lot of things that we could point out about physical bodies that are just not right. But it wouldn’t matter because that isn’t important. When you are pointing out your gap-toothed smile and saying it’s not beautiful, what are you comparing the beauty to?

Think about that.

That goes for anything else we point out on our bodies that are different. Your lips are thin? Then ACCEPT it. You have a small butt? EMBRACE them cheeks! You have fat in places you don’t want it? LOVE on it anyway! It is okay to love what you have instead augmenting to something you want to attain.

The mirror is your friend

I know this seems weird, but have you ever looked at yourself and not criticized what you saw in the mirror? Who said what you look like isn’t perfect, and why did you take it and make it your own thought? I am asking because I do the same thing sometimes. Yes, it’s easy to point out a flaw, but why do we find the need to point them out in the first place?

If you don’t believe you’re perfect, then look at it like this: There is perfection in im[perfection]. You don’t have to live life wondering if you’re enough, or if you’re attractive, or if you need to do some augmentation of some sort. Because you are! You are beautiful, and I dare you to start actually saying that to yourself!

There is perfection in im[perfection]

To the woman that doesn’t love herself, now is the time to stop waiting for approval to be pretty from other people. They do not define us. We make standards, we don’t follow them! You have beauty bonuses to STAND OUT for a reason, not to look like everyone else.

You are royalty, it’s time to start acting like it.



2 responses to “To the Woman that Doesn’t Love Herself”

  1. This is a great post. We need to see ourselves as valuable people, not as bodies to be judged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Exactly. It is definitely easier said than done!

      Liked by 2 people

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